Oh i saw the northern lights! we were too close to the lights in the city to see it in color but i saw them in grey and they were even crazy like that! the movement was soooo eerie and amazing. wets my whistle to see it more!
So of the many wonderous experiences that i want to share with you, i want to share with you rather an unconventional one. usually missionaries tell you about the baptisms, etc, bu i wanna help you see another part of missionary work. haha
I woke up. grumpy, but aight. had some good studyin'. ate way too much for lunch, then kept on snackin. had kinda a weird day. i've been just about as happy as sunshine the past forever, but i just felt..... quirky. weird. like i had a short fuse. i tried praying all day and pushing it off and it would leave... but come back. normally being obedient is easy peasy. but i didn't really feel like being a missionary. after a good but unprepared lesson with an investigator i;d about had it. finally when we were about to walk into a referral's house, i just hit a wall. sister faupula and i by now know eachother like family, and so she said: "you need to talk something out. so shoot." i opened my mouth and out came a torrent of concerns and worries and fears. I bawled like a lil child for a good ten minutes. my worries shifted from me being worried about my teaching abilities to more of a sacred worry. i felt like my heart was breaking as i considered the difficult truth of agency, that people truly do have the ability to choose to not come back to our heavenly father. The thought that ANYONE could decide to not reach their full potential broke my heart and soul and i couldn't bear it. I thought of Samantha... how it looks like we may lose her for a time because she wants to move in with an old boyfriend to anchorage. i struggled with others that we have been meeting with that just can't get to church, just can't quit smoking, just can't quit following their own wills instead of the savior's beautiful plan for their life. I cried, we talked, i ran out of tissues to blow my nose into (i have been sick this week which didn't help) and started laughing because my nose was just keeping on going.... which i will just let your imagination wander on that one. sister faupula listened for a while, and with a power which i can only ascribe to her calling as a sister missionary of jesus christ's and a sister training leader, spoke to my soul of the pain that the savior went through, that even he could not save everyone. it hurt and comforted.
that kind of experience is the type of soul pleading, searching, begging, frustration, love, vulnerable charity, and altering that goes behind every statistic that you hear. every baptism and returning less active has the prayers and suffering and excitement and love of missionaries around them. but the savior's atonement has healed me even more since that moment. and i love him for it.
Please. next time you feel upset, frustrated, angry, moody, grumpy, talk it out. to a friend, to the lord, and he will strengthen your soul.
I love you family and friends. Keep on going. he knows you are there.
Sister Galli
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